Girls Get A Rest

Me and my girls got a rest today. A rest from the frenzied schedule of doctor appointments and tests. My girls and I, well you know what I mean here, had an early morning appointment in Sonoma that was totally unrelated to cancer. Mark was with "us". That felt nice. After the appointment we stopped at Broccos to buy some hay for the alpacas, chicken food, and alfalfa pellets.

While out and about , I received two calls to schedule appointments for next week. So now next week is pretty full with three days scheduled -- the chemo teaching session, labs and Oncologist appointment, and my first chemotherapy "session".  Ready or not, here I come!

After we returned home, Sarah came up to the house to get me so we could drive back down to Glen Ellen Village Market and meet Bobbi for lunch. We sat outside at one of the barbecue tables and soaked up the beautiful mid-day sun. It was glorious!!!! When I returned home, I squeezed in a bit of knitting and welcomed our neighbor, Debbie, who came up to buy eggs and brought delicious lentil soup.

So now that evening chores are done, I'm writing this while heating the soup and trying to get in the remainder of the 10 glasses of water required for my day of tests tomorrow.

And tomorrow involves a bone scan and CT scan. We're almost ready! :-)

Hugs, Debbie... aka the healing breast cancer warrior

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

I So Appreciate Everyone and Everything

Today I heard from the Oncologists office and they are working out all the details for my scans, et al. I'll be going into Memorial for the blood work and everything else is in the hands of insurance for authorization. I'm hopeful that I'll have a regime of tests next week and chemo treatment will start early in February. 

Let's get on with it, I say!

AND Hugs to you all....

I just wanted to share with you all how much I appreciate the outpouring of love and prayers. Yes, we know we are loved by many. But it is odd how something that can feel so devastating at times reminds us how near and dear we are to you, and you are to us.

I know I keep speaking as "we". And even though Mark is strong and healthy as ever, I feel as though this is "we". He and I are two, but yet we are one. After 37 (nearly 38) years of marriage to my best friend in the whole world, it would be impossible for this to just be about me. It is about "us". He is already picking up the slack when I am on the phone, or reading my "Chemo and I" book, or just feeling down and "woe is me" all bundled up in a blanket on the couch.

The reading of material alone is almost overwhelming. My vocabulary is increasing in leaps and bounds, but not with all the lovely fiber/knit/spin/weave terms I would prefer.  The kitchen and living room are filled with breast cancer books and pamphlets, medication sheets, support leads. My knitting bag, spinning wheel, and looms are sitting there calling to me with one little tear droplet sitting at the corner of their eye. They are telling me, "Not to worry, Debbie. We are here waiting for you and pulling for you. We know you will have plenty of time for us, when you are up to it, in the next many weeks of chemo."

So back to the "we"... This is "our" new life for the next several months and probably a good part of 2011. And I think I am okay with it, or at peace with it all. Is Mark? I think so, but I wish I could spare him from it all. I think it may be harder on him to watch me going through all this. He is my rock, my soul mate. Without him I am not whole. We were just but kids when we married and immediately started a family. It really doesn't feel all that long ago when we were wed. He was 20, I 19, turning 20 in a couple of weeks. We have been together for 64% of our lives. Wow, I've never thought of it that way before.

So don't forget about him. When I am getting all this attention and invites to movies and lunch, and all sorts of fun stuff while I am still up to it. Check in on him now and again to see how he is doing. He really does enjoy a quick chat on the phone. Don't tell him I said so, and hopefully he won't read this post. Of course he will refuse your offers, so you must be sneaky and not act like it is about him.

So for now we take it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Step by step, inch by inch, closer and closer.......

Let's get on with it, I say!

AND Hugs to you all....

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior

LIVESTRONG: I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

Ready, Set, Go ~ Treatment Plan In Place

We have a plan! Which is a huge relief.

 I'm in the Que, and it feels good.

First off, I am pleased to say that the 7.9 cm tumor size reported to me yesterday after the MRI was a bit inflated. Actually, I probably misunderstood. The overall length of the tumor area is 7.9 cm, rather than the actual diameter. The number the doctor says we should refer to is actually 3-6 cm. While this sounds huge. It is not as "huge" as the 7.9 cm number I received yesterday. So I guess this is good.

So... Mark and Alura and I met with Oncologist Dr. Ian Anderson, of Redwood Regional Medical Group, for a good 2 hours. He reviewed my patient history form, asked some questions, then performed a physical exam. He returns after I dress to tell us about the MRI results, which I've summarized above. One thing I did not know is the MRI scanned the lymph nodes and they look clear. YIPPEE!!!!!

The appointment with Dr. Anderson was very positive. He talked and walked us through all the options, the pros and cons, what he felt was the best for me now considering the tumor size, fact that my cancer is estrogen negative, Lymph nodes do not er to be involved, etc. After about an hour or so, it is apparent that Mark and I are kind of overloaded with information. Alura takes up the note taking and we all continue to ask questions. 

After two hours of consultation with Dr. Anderson, I have decided that chemotherapy is my next step . In a nut shell, there is a 30% chance that my tumor could disappear altogether with chemotherapy, shrink somewhat, or stay the same. Chemotherapy will also tell us if my cancer is responding to the treatment. Chemotherapy will last 16 weeks and  be followed with surgery. Depending on how the cancer responds to chemotherapy, surgery will involve a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Once chemotherapy begins, I will be monitored. If at any time, the tumor size increases, chemotherapy will be stopped and surgery will take place. Surgery will most likely be followed by radiation.

All things considered, they will do some diagnostic tests, blood work, CT scan and bone scan, check my heart strength. Then a port will be inserted into my chest for chemotherapy treatment to begin soon thereafter.

I'm not sure yet when my chemotherapy will start, but it will involve 4 rounds of treatment with one med, for every other week. for 8 weeks. Then a new med is used for another 4 rounds for 8 more weeks. This means a 16 week period of chemotherapy. Each treatment is preceded by blood work to see if my blood counts are as is expected and needed for the treatment. The next day I go through a 3-4 hour chemotherapy treatment. The third day I will return for a drug to be administered that helps to bring my blood count back up to normal. The rest of that week I have off to recover, as well as the following week. The third week I return and start all over again. Doesn't sound all that bad, does it. :-) There are many side affects of course, but the alternative is one I can't consider. So I'm prepared for nausea, baldness, and exhaustion. I'm confident that everything will fall into place as far as scheduling within the next few days.

A funny story is that Dr. Anderson took us into the chemo treatment room so a nurse could check my veins to see if a port would be better for me. Both Mark and Alura looked around and said, "Wow what a great view." You would have thought we were in a spa or restaurant. Common guys, I'll be spending 3-4 hours here for chemotherapy. This ain't no spa. But YES, the view is very nice! :-) Besides, I have some knitting projects all lined up so don't expect to be gazing out the window all the time I'm there.

One new tidbit that the MRI showed is that my tumor is close to, or may be attached to, my chest wall. As Alura puts it, "That is why they are doing chemo, Mom". So logical and to the point. I love her to death. She makes it all sound so perfectly expected and "okay". 

When we three arrive home, we find Sarah here with lunch prepared for us. It was nice to spend the rest of the afternoon with our girls, talk about "things" and snuggle on the couch.

I AM BLESSED AND LOVED! 

I'M READY. BRING IT ON. I have my warrior suit all pressed and ready to go into battle. And Basooka Bear is ready at my side.

My hope is that everything will move quickly from here.

Hugs, Debbie... aka the cancer warrior

LIVESTRONG:

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

Thank You

Thanks to all my family and friends for their love and support. I have never received so many offers of love, prayers, and support.... from massages, to restorative yoga, free housecleaning and meals, hand delivered flowers and healing and nutrition books, cards, help with the farm and animals -- you name it, it has been offered. And we aren't even into surgery and treatment yet.

Please know that even though I am not able to physically respond to all your emails, calls, and communications, Mark and the girls and I know you are there on our team, cheering on all the healthy cells and helping us to get ready for this next phase of the war. Don't you worry, we will be ready and willing to accept and receive all the good wishes, and offers once we have our plan of surgery and treatment in place, which will be very soon since my appointment with the Oncologist is tomorrow.

My beautiful pink and white beaded bracelet gifted to me by my adorable niece, Kiana.

Hugs, Debbie... aka the cancer warrior

LIVESTRONG:

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!