I So Appreciate Everyone and Everything

Today I heard from the Oncologists office and they are working out all the details for my scans, et al. I'll be going into Memorial for the blood work and everything else is in the hands of insurance for authorization. I'm hopeful that I'll have a regime of tests next week and chemo treatment will start early in February. 

Let's get on with it, I say!

AND Hugs to you all....

I just wanted to share with you all how much I appreciate the outpouring of love and prayers. Yes, we know we are loved by many. But it is odd how something that can feel so devastating at times reminds us how near and dear we are to you, and you are to us.

I know I keep speaking as "we". And even though Mark is strong and healthy as ever, I feel as though this is "we". He and I are two, but yet we are one. After 37 (nearly 38) years of marriage to my best friend in the whole world, it would be impossible for this to just be about me. It is about "us". He is already picking up the slack when I am on the phone, or reading my "Chemo and I" book, or just feeling down and "woe is me" all bundled up in a blanket on the couch.

The reading of material alone is almost overwhelming. My vocabulary is increasing in leaps and bounds, but not with all the lovely fiber/knit/spin/weave terms I would prefer.  The kitchen and living room are filled with breast cancer books and pamphlets, medication sheets, support leads. My knitting bag, spinning wheel, and looms are sitting there calling to me with one little tear droplet sitting at the corner of their eye. They are telling me, "Not to worry, Debbie. We are here waiting for you and pulling for you. We know you will have plenty of time for us, when you are up to it, in the next many weeks of chemo."

So back to the "we"... This is "our" new life for the next several months and probably a good part of 2011. And I think I am okay with it, or at peace with it all. Is Mark? I think so, but I wish I could spare him from it all. I think it may be harder on him to watch me going through all this. He is my rock, my soul mate. Without him I am not whole. We were just but kids when we married and immediately started a family. It really doesn't feel all that long ago when we were wed. He was 20, I 19, turning 20 in a couple of weeks. We have been together for 64% of our lives. Wow, I've never thought of it that way before.

So don't forget about him. When I am getting all this attention and invites to movies and lunch, and all sorts of fun stuff while I am still up to it. Check in on him now and again to see how he is doing. He really does enjoy a quick chat on the phone. Don't tell him I said so, and hopefully he won't read this post. Of course he will refuse your offers, so you must be sneaky and not act like it is about him.

So for now we take it one day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Step by step, inch by inch, closer and closer.......

Let's get on with it, I say!

AND Hugs to you all....

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior

LIVESTRONG: I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!