Putting it All In Perspective

I like the social part of radiation better than chemo. Not that people weren't friendly at chemo, but I was usually there with a support "team" and so we visited among ourselves more than with other patients. And chemo patients are often times napping through the several hour treatment due to fatigue from the treatment or just the length of the treatment.

But at radiation... there seems to be much more communication and comparing. For one thing, the waiting room is separate from other patients waiting for chemo and such. When I arrive, I walk directly back to the radiation treatment department without checking in at the front reception area. Then I go directly to the ladies changing room and get into my gown. That is when we then wait in chairs to be called for our treatment.

I met a very nice older gentleman who finished up his treatment last week. His name is Paul. Funny how we all just have first names. You hear it each day as we are called in for radiation, whether we do introductions or not. He was in for prostate cancer. When he learned I was from Glen Ellen and attended Sonoma Unified School District, he asked about an old childhood friend from Southern California who was also a college buddy. It happens that this gentleman, Thomas Seal, was Mark's drafting teacher. Paul and Tom had lost touch after college. Since my reunion happened while Paul was getting treatment, I was able to do some research about Tom and share it with Paul. It is a small world sometimes, isn't it?

It is interesting how most men seem to be treated on the lower extremities, and women on the upper. You can tell by the way they have left some street clothing on and which gown they choose for treatment. I usually wear one of the capelets. 

So Paul is no longer in the mix, but now I am getting to know Kathy. Kathy is also in for breast cancer. She had another type of cancer 30 years ago at age 28, and now this. She did not have chemo this go round, but did have surgery. Now she is in for radiation and is a few treatments behind me. So she asks me how I am doing to get a feeling of how she might do. The other day I showed her the skin breakdown in the ladies changing room. 

Often times we barely get a sentence out with another patient in the waiting room before they are called back for treatment. That's just how it is in the radiation waiting room.

So today I met two new women in the waiting room. Well, we didn't actually introduce ourselves, and I forget the one's name who was called ahead of me, but perhaps we will run into each other again next week. One woman I saw as I walked into the facility and her hair was shorter than mine, which gave me a clue as to where she might be in her treatment. Turns out she was there today for her radiation setup/tattoo appointment. I told her how I was having more skin breakdown than I expected. She asked if I normally tanned easily, which I do. I thought this might protect my skin better. She had learned just the opposite... that fairer skinned people have less skin breakdown. She is fair skinned so I do hope that is true and she has less skin breakdown than I am experiencing. 

The other woman in rads waiting room is an African American woman I've seen there once before. Apparently she is back for a recurrence of cancer treatment and chemo from a year ago. She has triple negative breast cancer and told me that her chemo did little to shrink her tumor. So she had surgery, and now the cancer is back only a year after treatment. I will learn more about her situation when I see her next, but this really puts it all in perspective when I am apprehensive about taking Femara for the next five years, once radiation is over.  

Femara is a form of continued chemo. Although I was found to not be triple negative, which is why Femara has been prescribed (my cancer is estrogen receptive after all), this just puts things in perspective for me. It reminds me that cancer is now a part of my life. It won't just go away because I have finished chemo, surgery, and radiation. There will be continued tests and worries. But I will not focus on this "c" word. Instead, I will live my life knowing that I need to be careful about how I treat my body, and be on top of any symptom that may be of concern. And I will follow my doctors prescribed protocol but will ask all the appropriate questions so I am well informed. After all, they are the experts. Who am I to question their years of training and expertise. Ask me about alpacas and I know a lot. Ask me about medicine, and... :-)

So for now I will meet with Dr. Anderson in a couple of weeks to learn more about Femara and better understand why it is being prescribed. And I will ask him about this prickly pins-and-needles feeling I have experienced a few times just recently in my upper body and limbs, which may be a form of neuropathy from the chemo.

Hugs,

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior ... AND SURVIVOR!!!

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

Spoke Too Soon ~ Rads Suck!!!

Did I really say radiation was a "piece of cake compared to chemotherapy"? If not here, I have said it to friends when they ask how I am. Haven't I learned to zip it when I think things are going just too well to be true? I take it all back now.

While radiation may not be as long as, or as debilitating as, chemo; right now, at this place in time, it is definitely challenging.

It is the skin breakdown that is getting me down. I sort of thought that because I rarely burn from the sun, have that Italian/Portuguese olive-toned skin; that I might escape some of the side effects I've read about. NOT! Considering about half of my left breast has lost the top layer of skin, and that doesn't even include the 4" area under my arm that is also raw, tender, itchy and painful; I'd say I'm experiencing some of the worst side effects of breast radiation. My entire nipple and areola are raw and void of skin layer #1. And each time I apply neosporin to prevent infection, or one of my other soothing healing creams, more skin rubs off. Sadly to say, I am now like those I've read about, almost unable to wear much on my skin because even the slightest rubbing of cloth is very irritating. I have found that those soft cotton tanks with the bra shelf, worn inside out so the elastic isn't right against my skin, helps only minimally. Best is a soft cotton sports bra, since then my other clothes aren't moving right over my breast and irritating it. This sure makes the statement Save the Ta-Tas a reality to me.

So far some Tylenol is giving me some relief, and I still have a good supply of hydrochodone as backup, if needed.

A 3-day weekend planned working on projects ended up being one mostly on the couch watching 911 memorials and a movie or two. But as I have surprised my family many previous times, like the Vermont Inn to Inn trip Mark took me on only after I had been cycling for 3 weeks,  and the wonderful REI kayak trip in Ucluelet BC when a storm rolled in and we had to hurry and kayak back to our camp with our guide ahead of us as Mark and I paddled our hearts out to keep inching forward. All this in 3-4' swells -- all the while Mark watching me and my boat dip out of site in the swells and white caps, and worrying about me being able to paddle against the current and make it back. Our guide nicknamed me rowing machine after that journey. And did I tell you that the guide was towing in the other couple during this ordeal. I am stronger than some realize, both in strength and determination -- especially when put to the test... even stronger than I realize. So cancer doesn't have a chance with me.

Radiation scheduled for Tuesday and Wednesday did not take place. The equipment could not be adjusted exactly as they wanted. So modifications were made each day to the piece they cut specifically for my boost sessions, and radiation finally took place today, Thursday. My skin appreciated the break in treatment, as did I. So we will add these two days on to the end of the treatment. So I got a 5-day weekend instead of three. Although I made the trip there expecting treatment. Lord knows my skin is very appreciative!  :-)

The comical part of the delay was the emergency evacuation that took place yesterday while I was on the table and the doctor and technicians were making adjustments and trying to figure out how best to get me set up for the following day. I was laying there on the table while they were all out of the room consulting on the situation when I heard an alarm. It was a loud alarm, much like a fire alarm, or so I thought. I'd say it went off for a minute or more, but felt like much longer. I was talking softly out loud to myself saying, "Hello, would someone please come in and let me know what is going on." Finally, the doc and a technician came in and told me they needed to get me off the table (or couch as one technician calls it) because a fire alarm was sounding. The doc reassured me that there was no fire and that I could put something more on than the skimpy cape before evacuating the building with everyone else. As we were leaving the radiation room, she changed her mind and said "they" wanted us to exit immediately. I am familiar with these things. After all, I was in charge of safety at my last two jobs and coordinated the evacuation drills and such. I was more than happy to exit the building. Thankfully one of the nurses brought out blankets for us to throw over our shoulders because it was a cool foggy morning.

Only after a few minutes of waiting two fire engines and their crews arrived to do a quick check and determine that the construction crew working on the remodel had set off the alarm. Thankfully this all did not take too long because this was the day Mark and I were going to Davis to visit the kids and Nicolas. Nicolas is growing like a weed and eating to match that growth.

Hugs,

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior ... AND SURVIVOR!!!

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

25 Down; 8 To Go ~ Skin Breakdown Has Begun

I'm at the end of week five of radiation treatments. Today was the last of the regular treatments, and then we will begin the "boost" on Tuesday. The boost is a more concentrated dose of radiation that is administered to just the tumor site, rather than the whole breast, chest, and underarm. So hopefully it will avoid the areas where I am already having the skin problem, so it will be easier on my skin. 

THANK GOODNESS!!! Because the skin began to breakdown earlier this week and it is not fun for sure. I've been using all the prescribed creams and even some I've learned about from other breast cancer treatments, but alas I'm still having some issues. It all started last week with some itchy areas and aches. At that time my radiation oncologist prescribed a steroid cream. I didn't use the cream much because I was not scratching my skin, and that was its primary purpose. I wanted to continue the calendula and aloe to promote healing and soothing my poor leathery-like skin. Sure enough, on Sunday there were three tiny dots on my areola where the darkened skin had pulled away and exposed a tiny wound. The doc indicated that the other dark areas, areas that to me looked like I had burned my skin with a curling iron (we know what that looks like, don't we ladies?), would most likely break down as well. It's as if the skin has blistered, even though it has not, and then the skin breaks open. There is no oozing or anything, at least not yet.

The area of breakdown is larger yet today, but hopefully this three-day-weekend off radiation will give my skin a rest and the chance to heal. My expert burn consultant, Alura, has given me wonderful advice on how to treat the wounds so I am sure everything will be fine. And it really isn't too uncomfortable so far.

So I'm glad it is all winding down and looking forward to two weeks down the road when radiation is over and everything will have a chance to heal.

Happy Labor Day Weekend! Enjoy and be safe,

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior ... AND SURVIVOR!!!

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

Synchronized Hair Follicles

When people comment on how fast my hair is growing, and how cute it looks short (???), I usually respond with something about how I'm getting all this facial and arm hair, which seems to be much more than pre-chemotherapy. It used to be that I had peach fuzz on my head. Now it seems I have it around my jaw bone and all over my arms. Mind you, I'm pleased with the lush eyebrows and lashes coming back in. And even more pleased they still have a lot of dark brown color in them. The hair on the head, on the other hand, has loads of grey in it, but still some brown too. Honest, I'm not complaining -- just stating facts.

Well, my dear friend Kate, who once worked for Amgen and knows all about Neulasta (drug used right after chemo to bring blood count back to normal range) and other such things, helped explain it all to me.

You see, my hair follicles have synchronized. Normally our hair follicles cycle, or randomly grow at all sorts of different times. Some hairs are short, some long, some have just fallen out and have not yet pushed out a new hair. Often times this is associated with seasons, as we see with our pets. So we never really have a "full" head of hair all at one time. A chemo patient, receiving certain chemo drugs which cause hair loss, on the other hand, has lost every hair on their body. When the hair begins to grow back several weeks after the last chemo infusion, all their hair follicles are synchronized to grow at the same time. Thank goodness for this as the head and eyes look much better with that very short hair coming in all at once instead of a hair here and a hair there. 

Apparently, this is a similar phenomenon to when you wax hair. So for you ladies considering this on someplace like your legs, remember that then your follicles will be synchronized too and you will have very hairy legs when it starts to grow back in.

So now we have solved the mystery of the peach fuzz and synchronized hair follicles. Let's then get on with other important issues of the day, like fixing the economy of the USA. Good luck on that one.  :-)

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior; AND Survivor 

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

Radiation & Skin Redness

Today I saw Dr. David after my radiation treatment. He is one of the Radiation Oncologists at Redwood Regional Cancer Center, but not my normal Rad Onc, who is Dr. Scharfen. Dr. Scharfen is on vacation this week.

I am seen by my Rad Onc once each week to review how I am doing and ask any questions I have. Dr. David explained that redness will most likely occur in three areas; under the arm, under the breast, and just above the breast at the center of my chest. Under the arm and breast will get red because of the fold of the skin there. The chest area will most likely get red from the radiation because of previous sun exposure from wearing V-neck tops, swim suits, etc. So I need to be very cautious to keep this area covered from sun exposure during treatment.

The good news is that the redness will stop two weeks after treatment and then healing will begin.

I've added Calendula to my regimen of creams to promote healing. So my routine is to apply aloe vera gel immediately after radiation. Once that dries and before dressing, I then apply the Aquaphor cream. then in the evening I apply calendula gel. I cannot apply anything then until after treatment as nothing should be applied to the skin of the radiated area four or less hours before treatment.

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior; AND Survivor 

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

The Owl and the Pussycat

When this post is viewable, I will be undergoing my first radiation treatment at 11am on Monday, August 1, 2011. And I will be doing my darndest to recite some or all of this poem during the process.

The Owl and the Pussycat by Edward Lear.

The Owl and the Pussycat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat,
They took some honey, and plenty of money,
Wrapped up in a five pound note.
The Owl looked up to the stars above,
And sang to a small guitar,
"O lovely Pussy! O Pussy, my love,
What a beautiful Pussy you are, you are, you are,
What a beautiful Pussy you are."

Pussy said to the Owl "You elegant fowl,
How charmingly sweet you sing.
O let us be married, too long we have tarried;
But what shall we do for a ring?"
They sailed away, for a year and a day,
To the land where the Bong-tree grows,
And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood
With a ring at the end of his nose, his nose, his nose,
With a ring at the end of his nose.

"Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?"
Said the Piggy, "I will"
So they took it away, and were married next day
By the Turkey who lives on the hill.
They dined on mince, and slices of quince,
Which they ate with a runcible spoon.
And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.
They danced by the light of the moon, the moon, the moon,
They danced by the light of the moon.

CT Planning

Today was my CT Planning appointment. This is the appointment where they position me for radiation and take a CT scan to check on the placement.

It took about an hour with several scans and readjustments of my body position.  The Radiation Technologist made several marks on my chest until she got it just right. Then she had the doctor come in to check on things and sign off on the positioning. Once all was good, she placed about four tiny tattoos on my chest to mark exactly where I will be positioned and lined up with the equipment for each radiation appointment. They were like little bug bites, so not really a problem. But laying there with both arms overhead, chin raised, and staying very still, was tiresome, but not impossible. 

See the itsy bitsy tattoo - the little tiny blue mark?

What I learned is that I need some kind of mantra/poem/prayer to recite during radiation to help while away the time. I remember this challenge during my MRI guided biopsy. I kept trying to recall a song or something and was at a loss. Of course I said many Hail Mary's and Lord's Prayers, but I was looking for something else as well to keep me positive and focused on something other than the procedure. So I have two weeks to come up with something.

I also learned I need to be extra cautious of sunburn to the chest these next two weeks. The Rad Tech warned me that if I get lots of sun in the tattoo zone, then they will delay radiation. Sunscreen and caution with V-neck shirts for sure!

While changing into the gown for the CT Planning, I realized that I will use one gown per week for radiation, based on the signs in the room. My gown will be kept in a "cubby" for me. Then on Friday I will place it in the "soiled gown" bin and start anew on the next Monday.

On July 29th I return for the teaching appointment where a nurse goes over all the particulars. That is immediately followed by the simulation appointment where they simulate radiation to make sure everything lines up as expected. Then that following Monday, August 1st, I start radiation. 

It is scary, AGAIN, but I am anxious to get on with it. So your positive words, thoughts, encouragement and prayers are welcome again. As it takes a village, for sure..... and you are all my village.

Hugs,

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior ... AND SURVIVOR!!!
Sonoma Relay for Life Team (8/6/11) ~  Debbie's Blasting Crew.

Radiation, Here I come...

On Monday I met with my radiation oncologist, Dr. Scharfen, to get the ball rolling on radiation. I'm actually very excited to get this started, even though I know that the good feelings and energy that I now have, may subside somewhat as the daily radiation treatments progress. But this means that I am that much closer to finishing treatment. AND... this is very good in my mind!

The appointment was a quick one, as we had met before chemotherapy ended to go over everything in great detail.

Friday I return for an hour appointment for CT Planning. This is where they will do all the necessary preparation, CT, etc. to line up my radiation exposure to only get what it should and miss my lung and heart. Yep, unfortunately the left side is where these vital organs are. But to survive and live a long life so I can enjoy my two grandchildren soon to arrive in the next few months, this is a necessary part of my treatment.

Stay tuned for an update on when the actual radiation begins, and what it is like. It will take place Monday through Friday for six consecutive weeks, but each session only lasts 15 minutes.

Hugs,

Debbie... aka the cancer warrior ... AND SURVIVOR!!!
Sonoma Relay for Life Team (8/6/11) ~  Debbie's Blasting Crew.

Two Months Behind Me :-)

Two months since diagnosis

• One month into chemo treatment; with 3 months or so to go
• Then a month or so till surgery, hopefully a lumpectomy
• Finished off with 1.5 weeks or so of radiation.

 So about 6 months to go and counting. 
We are getting there one step at a time!  :-)

Hugs, Debbie... aka the cancer warrior; AND survivor 

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!

One Month

To day is exactly one month since my diagnosis! Infiltrating Ductal Carcinoma!!

Need I say that it has been a quick month. It started out slowly with the news and disbelief. Then the worrying and waiting to get in to see the doctor and see what was really going on and what was the next step. That followed by anxiety to get rolling with my plan of treatment. And finally all the tests and doctor appointments leading up to my first chemo treatment of today.

I must look at it as one month down, and probably 8-11 months more of "stuff". to go That would be 4 months of chemo starting today, then surgery, ending with radiation We hope that will be the end, but time will tell.

Hugs, Debbie... aka the cancer warrior; soon to be survivor 

LIVESTRONG: 

I AM STRONG. I AM LOVED. I AM HEALTHY. WE WILL WIN!